French Cuisine Fanatic Pillows

'Do you want me to serve you with a French accent or in just plain English?'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Garlic Free Zone.

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Gigot de sept heures."

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

Cooking with Pierre

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

"A votre sante!"

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

'My French is not so good.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"My bouche was not amused."

Culinary Culture.

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

Paul Bocuse caricature

'The escargots are underdone.'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"Pat? de fois gras avec des petits pois et pommes de terre au gratin? Very well, sir ? is generic okay?"

French man holding a dish.