French Cuisine Enthusiast Pillows

'Did monsieur enjoy the meal?' - 'I could get more nourishment biting my lip.'

'The escargots are underdone.'

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

At the French Cafe.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Cooking with Pierre

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Gigot de sept heures."

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"My bouche was not amused."

Culinary Culture.

'My French is not so good.'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"Pat? de fois gras avec des petits pois et pommes de terre au gratin? Very well, sir ? is generic okay?"

French man holding a dish.

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'