French Cuisine Fanatic Gifts

'Do you want me to serve you with a French accent or in just plain English?'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"Gigot de sept heures."

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Cooking with Pierre

"A votre sante!"

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

'The escargots are underdone.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

'My French is not so good.'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"My bouche was not amused."

Culinary Culture.

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"Pat? de fois gras avec des petits pois et pommes de terre au gratin? Very well, sir ? is generic okay?"

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

French man holding a dish.

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"