French Food Lover Gifts

'Hommes.'

'Well, if you're in such a hurry, why did you order snails?'

'Your French dip, sir.'

'That's right, sir - they ate the salad.'

"Well, you can tell them I don't make farce pour mousses de poisons et de crustaces to go."

"Oui, oui, that will be perfect."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

"Gigot de sept heures."

Cooking with Pierre

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

Paul Bocuse caricature

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'My French is not so good.'

'The escargots are underdone.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"My bouche was not amused."

Culinary Culture.

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."