Notification Annihilator Gifts

"I'm clearing all my offline notifications."

Mind-Fullness

Nervous Oral Testing

Tonight: Wagner's Ring Tone Cycle.

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

The Communicator

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"Opportunity came knocking once, but I missed it. I was expecting a tweet."

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

"You got this! Your brain has a hundred billion neurons, with more links between them than there are stars in the Milky Way. Now, go out there and show those ants who's in charge!"

Pandora's Inbox

"The minister has instructed us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets in the next 43 days." "Could we start with that one?"

Hiding From Social Media

"I know, I know. I already got your text, your email, and that robocall on the home phone."

"Hi. My name is Barry, and I check my E-mail two to three hundred times a day."

"Next time, don't let your anxieties build up ... "

Phone notifications which creep you out.

"Don't forget to empty the dish washer."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

Accounts: Kill Bills.

Woman approaches a clock with a tick and flea killer.

"I feel sh***y . . . yeah that didn't help."

"Come to think of it, I don't remember what you were upset about either."

"Please, sir - I have to pay off my student loans!"

Ed, you have six new messages.

"We could have really used you last year, but it seems to be clearing up."

"Am I a slave of social media? Nooo.....Just got to check this last message..."

"There is an easier an less expensive way to turn off those annoying notifications..."