Notice Board Fan Gifts

"Community Board."

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

"Who's the new guy that keeps nibbling on my neck?"

"He thinks he never makes mistakes."

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Your job...is to make sure nothing ever gets to this desk

Tortoise polishing his shell

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Sign: 'Gerrards Cross - Owens Volley'.

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

"Welcome to the Desert Writing Workshop. Today we will focus on irony."

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

Actually, I really admire him. He pushes the envelope!

Why Elephants Never Forget.

Competitions.

'The teacher says you're very clever for your age!'

'I don't haven to remind you again, do I?'

"Hi! Is this Jesus of Nazarath, son of David? This is Stan. We're family! I found you on Ancestry."

White noise machines for guys.

A restaurant called "Eat'n'Eat"

'The ref likes a good clean fight!'

"Hey, I'd recognize your squeaky, high-pitched voice anytime."

'This will sting for just a minute.'

'He's at a family reunion down in the dungeon.'

'This should be fun... this is my brother-in-law's tax return!'

'I'ld like to return my Junk Male.'

'That was Larry...always trying to improve himself.'

Man has a bin as his suggestions box.

"My mom really works at keeping my lunches interesting!"

"I said, that's my final offer, Carmody. Pressing the pound key for more options will get you nowhere."

'Do you want tea leaves or the cards?' - 'You mean you don't know.'

"Everything is in the Cloud."

Animals on a see-saw.

Run out and get me some lunch.