Nostalgic Television Viewer Gifts

"It's not England any more..."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

TV jester.

Christmas TV...

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

'To me a re-run is only something I've already seen this morning.'

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

"I like everything Big Bird's ever done."

'Oh, you'll like school -- It's like Sesame Street, only in 3-D!'

Late Night TV

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

The Professionals.

"We ought to send PBS some money so it can afford better pledge-break specials."

Now Showing - Titanic: Queue Here: Women + Children First.

In-flight entertainment

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

"Sorry, grandpa, but wiggling the antenna won't restore your cable and Internet."

"Still pretty liberal."

"Let's just say things don't look good for you, Kimosabe!"

"Hey Coen, what are you watching?"

'You want me to be more like I was when we were first married? OK, I'll put away the remote and change it manually.'

"We didn't have telly in wartime, we had to make our own violence."

"Unbeknownst to many, there was also a fourth little pig..."

Nostalgiaville

"Going cold turkey might be too much for him . . . Let him watch reruns of the 1977 centenary test in Melbourne until the lockdown is over!"

The Shape of Progress.

'I don't know but I think I liked last season's TV violence better than this season's.'

'THAT was weird -- I dreamed I woke up next to Suzanne Pleshette!'

"Good news, it's not groundhog day syndrome, you're just watching endless repeats of Murder She Wrote on ITV 3."

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

'Your short term memory is getting worse - you've seen this film at least FIFTEEN times!'

"He SAYS that's his classroom, but looks to me like he's found some old reruns of Hollywood Squares!"