Nosiness Enthusiast Gifts

"I was trying to listen to someone who was talking behind my back and now..."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Raptures

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Whistler's father.

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Now what?!'

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

Happy New Year! Hope you can stay up for it!

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

Bat

"Do you have one that has a snooze button?"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

Power Nap, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"Perhaps it was wrong to say 'May our company become a home to you'..."

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

Decluttering. . .

'That was a great meeting. No one woke up until it was over.'

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

A cat draws a picture of a sleeping man