Nosiness Enthusiast Pillows

"I was trying to listen to someone who was talking behind my back and now..."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Raptures

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Now what?!'

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

Happy New Year! Hope you can stay up for it!

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

Power Nap, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Bat

"Do you have one that has a snooze button?"

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

"Perhaps it was wrong to say 'May our company become a home to you'..."

Decluttering. . .

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

'That was a great meeting. No one woke up until it was over.'

A cat draws a picture of a sleeping man

"I think it is most admirable," said Alice, "that you gave up a thriving law practice to be with this lovely child."