Nose Contemplation Expert Gifts

Why People With Long Noses Shouldn't Smoke.

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"Showoff"

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

Professional woman in pub

"1971... 2015..."

He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up.

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

'Mountain guru avoids getting killed by falling boulder.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

This plaque commemorates the trees that was cut down to make space for this bench.

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

Computer with moon screensaver

Plastic Surgeon Kid

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

"I do want to be healthy but not so healthy that I miss out on my unhealthy eating habits."

In Isolation

'You know there were 7,184 waves yesterday. That's just slightly more than usual. I think that's one of my favorite things about island life, there's always a surprise round the corner. What's your favorite thing, Ed?'

"Oops."

"Whay do they think about all day?"

'I live in quiet desperation - it was either that or Tunbridge Wells.'

Death is just a side-effect of living.

'Oog has a nose for trees with fermented fruit.'