Noodle Nerd Gifts

Italia tours

"Wait, I think I found it!"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

First Novels.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

John Bunyan

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

Jack London

Moby Dick

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Gloat

Addicted to reading

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."