Noodle Nerd Pillows

Italia tours

"Wait, I think I found it!"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

First Novels.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

John Bunyan

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

Jack London

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Moby Dick

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

Gloat

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

The real reason why flamingos are pink