Noise-sensitive Reader Gifts

silence please

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

Sensitivity Reader's Digest

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

Music for car stereos

Car with enormous speakers, "I said, I love the speakers!"

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

Sensitivity Reader

'Normally, I enjoy a morning when the birds are singing.'

'Quiet with your crisps please, I can't hear the film.'

"What the?! They're installing a wind-chime in our tree! I can't stand the things: we have to move!"

Man completely bandaged leaves an eye uncovered so he can read.

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"Jordan takes his wife's wind chimes – he shoots!"

'Peace is at hand! - I just signed the Bagpipe Limitation Treaty!'

You are what you collect.

The room for adults who like to complain about children making noise at church

Blower wars.

Has Your Cat Always Had Such a Loud Purr...?

I'm here for my training course. - 'Please take a seat' - 'Ah... ten blissful minutes to read the paper in silence.' - '' - 'Did you park in the red bay?' - 'Yes.' - 'Big mistake, 'half pint'. You can't park there.' - 'But...' - 'Move it!!!' - 'Okay, ok

"Have you decided what household object you're hiding under this July 4th?"

An advertisement in an apartment window reads 'Drum Kit For Sale' - the sign in the neighbours window reads 'Thank God!'.

"God...I hate elevator music."

Ear Plugs for Aliens.

"You know that summer's arrived when you can hear four different radio stations from your own lawn."

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee. Every morning. . . but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

'Sure, it's nice of the farmer to leave us to graze freely in the mountains, but this darn bell is driving me crazy...'

Open Top Car Stereo volume control, 'irritate', 'annoy', 'enrage'

'Why don't you use a leaf blower? It annoys the hell out of people.'

The musical notes coming from a tuba knock down a man carrying a briefcase.

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

"Don't feel bad Rex: desperate measures for desperate times! That new trumpet of Young Master had to disappear..."