Quiet Reader Gifts

'Frankly Mum, I'd rather read a book quietly than frolic around the paddock...'

"Yes, we have self help books on overcoming shyness."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Hush puppy.

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

Zenemies.

Screen Time vs Book Time

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

"Life after death"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

Trivia/Great Literature.

"Just the slippers is fine!"

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

Pastoring for Dummies

Confucius say: shut up.

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

Moral Values for Dummies

'I like reading romance novels: They always leave me with a warm feeling inside...'

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

Book Igloo

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'