Silent Reader Gifts

"If we're going to continue ignoring each other, we'll need a lot more reading material."

I'm here for my training course. - 'Please take a seat' - 'Ah... ten blissful minutes to read the paper in silence.' - '' - 'Did you park in the red bay?' - 'Yes.' - 'Big mistake, 'half pint'. You can't park there.' - 'But...' - 'Move it!!!' - 'Okay, ok

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Don't even think about it."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

Mime marriage.

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

I swear, you don't hear a word I don't say.

'The answer is still no. I may look like a pushover, but I'm not.'

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

"Delivery."

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

Animals have broken into (and out of) Norm's home through window.

'I can't read but I have excellent tv viewing skills.'

'Why are you being so passive aggressive?'

'Yes, I agree. But what really caught my attention is what the boss ISN'T saying!'

"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

Castaway reading a magazine from a bottle

"Trust me....it was nothing you said!"

500 pages and one masterpiece later, Stephan makes a horrifying discovery.

"So, you won't talk, eh?"

Summer Reading

Man Readig Paper

"This is so annoying... How much longer can he just sit there? I know he knows I'm here — I hate playing this game!"

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

". . . and I leave my whole estate to my one true companion, public radio."

"Gus don't do much talkin'. His interpretive dance does his talkin' for him."

Telepath for Ms Thompson...

'We need to talk...'

'You have the right to remain silent...'

"You describe yourself in your resume as 'the strong, silent type.'"