Noise Planners Gifts

"I normally scream and cry on car rides, but I'm saving it all up for when we get on our flight"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

At the rock concert...

Future garbage truck driver.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

Noisy energy?

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

Cat and Broom

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Library Grand Opening

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

Playing dustbins

"Why haven't noise cancelling headphones been invented yet?"

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

Communication

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"Sorry for the racket, but, I ask you, how are ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen 6-B?"

Lawn Mowers - Loud/Louder/Loudest