Noise Detective Gifts

"Seriously? You don't hear a ticking noise?"

Noisy Train

"I keep hearing this annoying buzzing noise!"

"Did you yip? I heard a yip … you’re sure you didn’t just yip?"

It began with a beep. BEEEP. What an annoying noise. Where did that come from? BEEEP. Where indeed? Join us the next few days to solve the mystery behind the *beep* as we journey into the soul of modern man. (Oh, the hyperbole!) BEEEP!

Old West Trackers. It's either ten guys on horseback or a caterpillar crawled into my ear again.

"Speak up please. The music is so loud I can't hear you."

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'No, it's not the Rapture - The kids next door got a trampoline.'

'You're right-your car is making a funny noise.'

Insecurity guard: 'Are byou sure you didn't hear something- there it goes again!

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

Noisy energy?

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

Things that go beep in the night.

Dog thumping tail on floor, man below thumping ceiling with broom.

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

"Honey, check it out — giant porcupine tracks."

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Why haven't noise cancelling headphones been invented yet?"

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.

"I don't care if you whistle while you work, but others find it disconcerting."

"I wore a wire last night to prove you really snore!"

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

"I find that incessant barking eases the pain."

Fire at the Bisto Factory

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'