Noise Abatement Officer T-Shirts

'Don't you 'shh' me.'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

At the rock concert...

Cat and Broom

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

'Whenever I need a little peace and quiet, I do without,'

"Listen! Hear that? Nothing is beeping!"

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

"In space, there is no sound. Except those - we can still hear those @#%* things."

'I'm a bird person. If he screams, I put a cover over his cage.'

'You taught him to speak, now teach him to turn down the volume!'

This is a library - no sonic booms, please.

'Not while I am the librarian.'

"Jimmy's asking Santa for a drum set. I'm asking him for ear plugs."

People asking a robin to be quiet.

'Could you speak up a little? - I've got six billion of the little twerps buzzing in my ears!'

'OK, so I have a thing about thunder!'

"It's the people downstairs complaining about the noise again."

Noise Abatement Society

"We've built so much good will with the neighbors. Let's not use it up with compulsive vacuuming."

'When, exactly, did background noise become foreground noise?'

"Don't you find the ringing of one's mobile phone most annoyingly irritating, Terence, my good fellow?"

Ant banging on his roof with a broom up to football players stomping around above him

"...And as for your terrible elevator music...."

"Your dad doesn't want to see or hear any comments on his social media page. Please explain to him how to turn them off."

"When I start my car, it makes this terrible noise."

'It's the people downstairs again.'

Summer Dog

'What's the discount for the noise issue?'

'Open up Mr. Yomp! I can hear clucking in thee!'

"I'd like $50 worth of total silence, please."

"Oh no, we've got headbangers moving in upstairs!"