Noise Control Officer T-Shirts

Noise Abatement Society

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

Cat and Broom

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Airport traffic

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

"I keep hearing this annoying buzzing noise!"

'Whenever I need a little peace and quiet, I do without,'

'No, it's not the Rapture - The kids next door got a trampoline.'

'I know I never play it. I only borrow it from next door to stop him playing the damn thing!'

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

"Stop the barking .50"

The neighbour of the beast

'I'm a bird person. If he screams, I put a cover over his cage.'

Sneeze Police

It began with a beep. BEEEP. What an annoying noise. Where did that come from? BEEEP. Where indeed? Join us the next few days to solve the mystery behind the *beep* as we journey into the soul of modern man. (Oh, the hyperbole!) BEEEP!

"Shh, too much racket."

'Don't you 'shh' me.'

"Jimmy's asking Santa for a drum set. I'm asking him for ear plugs."

"It's the people downstairs complaining about the noise again."

If you two don't keep the noise down, I'll have to separate you.

Insecurity guard: 'Are byou sure you didn't hear something- there it goes again!

"We've built so much good will with the neighbors. Let's not use it up with compulsive vacuuming."

"Hold on, let me put you on megaphone."

'We can improve our patrol allocation,'

Old West Trackers. It's either ten guys on horseback or a caterpillar crawled into my ear again.

Angry man shoots at musical notes from guitar player.

'When, exactly, did background noise become foreground noise?'

Elevator volume control.

"Seriously? You don't hear a ticking noise?"