Nocturnal Comedian Pillows

"It's late, don't answer it."

Physician tending a mummy.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I don't like space."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Read it again, Daddy!"

"Mind if I read a little?"

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"I slept funny!"

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

"Perhaps you'd be able to sleep better if you pajamas weren't so loud."

Menage a Paws.

"Charley horse! Charley horse! Charley horse! Charleee!!"

"Listen, I'm not going to keep letting you in and out all day."

Man's dentures hold cigar.

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Metrocard error messages

Overnight Programming

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

'...and another thing. You're very selfish.'