Noble Title Aficionado Gifts

'Peer rage.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Car joust.

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"I welcome the discussion."

Cat with Crown.

'I'd like three dozen friendship cards -- this war has gone on long enough.'

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

I told you the King wasn't ready for irony!

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

Mouse King

"The Black Plague is getting worse, Sire, but the crime rate is WAY down!"

Queen Anne

Lost and found - 'Can you desribe it?' (Queen being asked having lost her crown).

'When you ordered the troops to charge, sire, they went into town and ran up a huge bar tab.'

"You're taking this majestic falconry business too far, Rudolph."

The Emperor of Irony

Ivan Bunin

King Solomon's Wedding"You may kiss the brides. You may also kiss the concubines, but don't make a big tzimmes about it."

'Legal says you'll need more diversity at your Round Table.'

Charles I

'You see the corgis? That tells me there's a queen in the hive.'

'I was just given more responsibility. Now I am not only responsible for corporate mumbo but also for corporate jumbo.'

Are you certain it is Kate Middletons actual wedding dress...'