Nightclub Bouncer Gifts

'Now I know why they call them bouncers!'

'I'll need to see some ID.'

'Sorry, sir. You're improperly dressed.'

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

It's okay -- I'm training for the 2020 Olympics.

"The club scene is really changing."

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Inhospitality tent.

Punctuation Karaoke Night

'Mmm … and he's ringing wet too. I just can't resist the smell of a wet dog.'

"Watch out for Brian...he's a bit of a bruiser."

After party at the spill club.

You have had enough

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

I'm sorry, Miss. I can't involve the bouncer just to "teach somebody a lesson." Menu.

"Or we could go to the exhibition chronicling in depth, the development of the hip hop scene..."

Burlyesque

Club insecurity.

"That's an old photo."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"Sorry Sir, no hoodies."

Bouncer at the door of family reunion.

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"Sorry, but it's one in one out."

"Now don't let your concentration move from my hands and the cards. . ."

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

Bouncer.

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"