Bouncer Gifts

"That's an old photo."

"You. You. And you."

The Ly'in Starts Here.

"Okay, now that I'm not wearing trainers or jeans can I come in?"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Inhospitality tent.

"What's great about this job is the anti-social interaction."

Scrap book - 'Thursday....kicked Terry's head in.'

'You look drunk.'

'He don't look much but he could break your arm easy.'

'And stay out!'

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"

Gates of heaven with bouncers

Bouncer at the door of family reunion.

The Moron Nightclub: 'Psst! Psst! You can make a quick twenty bucks if you forget the cover charge, look the other way and let us sneak in.'

'So - what's your problem?'

"Sorry Sir, no hoodies."

"I married Ron for a bit of extra security!"

Rather than rely on a hunch to decide who gets into a trendy nightclub, bouncers now Google each person.

"Sorry Mate, no trainers."

"Can't you boys... read?"

"Sorry, but it's one in one out."

'Ex Bouncer down on his luck, please give if you know what's good for you!'

Bumbles bounce

What makes you think you'd make a good bouncer?

'There's no light-touch regulation here.'

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

You have had enough

"Your name's not on the covid immunity list so you can't come in!"

"Are you blind? I'm wearing a tie!"

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Blind Dogs Only - "But the dog isn't blind."

"Would you like to dance with me?"

"A.B.H., G.B.H., assault and battery. WEll, you appear to have all the required credentials for the position."

Early man was a hunter-gatherer!