Night-before-crammer Gifts

"Is that Baldo's 'scary Halloween' face?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'Let's get this party started!'

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

'Your wife has had triplets. I suggest you go home and get some of the sleep you won't get in the next several years.'

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

'And another thing - you hog the duvet!'

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

"No, I want a story I already know all the words to."

Exams

Livin' the dream

"No dear - there are no malcontents at odds with society under your bed."

"Whoever guesses which cup the college tuition is under, gets it."

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

'Can you leave the light on? It's hard to sleep with the dark shining in my eyes.'

'Like it or not, I'm having a guys night out. I'll be at the sand bar!'

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

'We're having a test on the pilgrims tomorrow, Sir, and I could use the help of providence.'

"I have a big test today. It counts for 50 percent of my entire grade! Or maybe it's 40 percent."

Dad says to baby, 'If you keep this up you'll go to bed right this second, in a minute.'

"You can't send me to bed now - now when events are breaking so fast."

11pm chiller cabinet of last resort.

"Man, I love roughing it out here... but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"

'Note to myself: Next time I'm wide awake half the night, just get up, DO NOT fall asleep 10 minutes before the alarm goes off!'

"Quiz Night? I thought Monday was Kinky Fun Night."

'I'm signing you up!!'

James Kelman

"Goodnight, dear. Goodnight, Scooter. Goodnight, erection."