Nickname-master Gifts

"Mom didn't like her nickname 'Uber.'"

Hungry child

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Catatonic

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

The General's Cat: 'Always vigilant!'

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

He smiled to himself, enjoying his victory in hide and side. But soon, the next activity would start.

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

Trout Game

Earl and Lance struggle with their new invention, Chessers."

'He's called that, because he keeps getting licked.'

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

"Eat your candy. There's obese children in America who'd beat you with a stick to eat that."

Musical Chairs: Because kids don't already have a hard time fitting in.

Official Support Groups

Large Whist Party in Small Room

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Jones.

Party games.

"I know I'm not using all the chair but I don't do sub-leases!"

'...call me 'Noisy Ted'.'

"Land salmon. . ."

"I'm having an identity crisis. I can't keep track of whether I'm Nana, Mimi, or Grandma Wolcott."

'I've lost my voice...'

"I find it very significant that you would rather play house."

Whack - a - mole.

"White Rabbit, Cottontail and Mr. Fluffy. Why the code names?"