Next-gen Genius Gifts

Today at school...we did algorithms for Quantum computation.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

'ADN'

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

Money Tree

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

"Now we know who'll be taking care of us in our old age."

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

"Summer's coming. How does pre-med camp sound."

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

"Another advantage of genetic engineering: viruses you can see."

"I didn't learn anything in school today but I'll learn twice as much tomorrow."

'Take me to the FBI...Do I have a story to tell about Novox Genlab!'

Mendel and the Pea.

DNA Test

'If we could just add one more gene to make the skeptical customer trust us.'

"I've discovered the gene that makes you such an idiot."

'I'll put one end of the hose in your pool...you take the other end outside...gravity will create a siphon and drain the water with no mess.'

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"You got 136? It says here you're genius if you get a 132."