Newton's Fan Gifts

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

You must be this tall.

Missing You.

Baby rocks!

'It's not just any old rucksack Nathan. Nasa's entire spring collection is built around this baby.'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

S.P.F. 1,000

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Formula One car origami

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

Centaur Sprinter

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

"He turns into this horrible thing every full moon!"

Pig Trotter

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

NASA, 'All the tests check out -- we're on a huge pinata!'

The high jump before Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity.

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

'Why didn't you tell me there was a toilet attachment on our space suits?'

Dog Scalextric

Dadonomics

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

"We have to keep them guessing."

"So the knight married the damsel and they lived not-unhappily ever-after, though the knight regretted not having slain a few more dragons in his prime."