Newspaper Salesman Gifts

'Lou's News Stand'

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

Mohammad's motors

'God's speed.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'How about a nice saloon?'

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

"Man, how to you guys get that great new flying saucer smell in here?!'

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."