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Reading over someone's shoulder.

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

Fear of news.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Big Newspaper Delivery

"Are those my slippers?!"

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

Charlie Beck Loves Austin Beutner

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

H L Mencken.

Sunday.

The following story is based on actual events.

"Get a move on Hardwicke, we need it for the 6 o'clock news!"

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'The trouble is not with your set -- the station just got hit with a new batch of politically correct Federal regulations.'

'Grandpa isn't very child-friendly, is he?'

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

'Your polar ice cap is melting.'

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

'I'm suing for libel! You've down graded me from being a reliable source to being just a confidential source.'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

"Who are your sources? Talk!"

"They're dumbing down the news now!"

"According to the Times, the cartoonist drew my right hand wrong."

"Can't you forget about the FT for once?"

'How long has what been going on?'

"...and finally..."

'Look. I fetch it - I get to read it first.'

Squeeze on Public Spending.

Welcome to another edition of "Frank and Ernest's History." it's a little-known fact that calendars and sensationalistic reporting were invented almost simultaneously! I've devised a way of organizing days and years. I see. We have a dramatic, exclusive report! I don't want to alarm everybody but your days are now numbered!

'So we print it every four years. What do you call that?'

'Dave, why did we marry?' 'You wanted part of the paper.'