News Warrior Gifts

"If the news bother you so much, turn if off."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Hot Pie Therapy

Nervous Oral Testing

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

I hate monday mornings.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Burnout Syndrome...

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'