News Warrior T-Shirts

"If the news bother you so much, turn if off."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Nervous Oral Testing

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Burnout Syndrome...

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'What are you eating now?'

I hate monday mornings.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'