News Snippet Enthusiast Pillows

'Honestly how ridiculous! It says here that men who read out snippets from the newspaper are frustrated orators!'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

Oligarchy

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

Meet the Enemy

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Man Reading Laptop.

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

Desert Island Statue of Liberty.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Fear of news.

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Capital Tours

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Reporter #6: television.

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."