News Satire Enthusiast Pillows

"Judy Solomon gained nine pounds over the weekend because she ate trayf!"

'Back in the good old days, when Presidents said 'gazillion'....They were joking!'

"Kim Kardashian is trying to break the internet with her butt."

The Mighty Wotizzit?! Part 7

Special Report from Paris...

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Support the Ex-Troops

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Pretty Flowers

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Torturing the English Language

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

reincarnated worm...

The height of fashion in 1796

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Political convention

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

Meat Grinder