News Satire Aficionado Pillows

"Watching people argue about the world situation night after night makes me feel like I'm doing something about it."

Political convention

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

Fiscal cliff

Pop star weather report.

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

"Actually, we will replace you."

"Can I air quote you on that?"

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

Top Soviet Dissident Freed

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

'Bad enough they always ask what the worst case scenario is. Must they always look so damned happy asking it?'

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

"We know nothing. We'll be back in five minutes with nothing more."

What is it about Sarah Palin's politics that bothers you so much?

"So your therapist thinks you're suffering from delusions of grandeur. But just to be on the safe side, let's invade the Low Countries before they side with Britain."

Coffin floating out of outflow pipe.

'Nothing much happened in the Middle East today.... Ha! -- Just kidding.'

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'

'I didn't ask how likely is a hung parliament, I asked what are the chances of parliament being hanged?'

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.