Social Satire Aficionado Pillows

'Hey, I'm not asking for a 'handout'. A 'stipend' or 'honorarium' would be just fine.'

Gutter Gymnasts.

"Talk about climate change- my kid just moved back home."

'At least I don't have to live from paycheck-to-paycheck anymore.'

"You know, there are other emojis."

Political convention

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

"Can I air quote you on that?"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

Top Soviet Dissident Freed

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

"Actually, we will replace you."

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

Lobster a la Riseholme!

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"But how many followers do you have?"

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

'Bad enough they always ask what the worst case scenario is. Must they always look so damned happy asking it?'

"So your therapist thinks you're suffering from delusions of grandeur. But just to be on the safe side, let's invade the Low Countries before they side with Britain."

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

Meet Larry; tenor, baritone, philosopher, social commentator, sport analyst, political expert, relationship expert … and A+ certified plumber.