News Satire Gifts

, Don't Worry, We Have the Tracking Number

"Good evening and welcome to a very special newscast in which I do everything I can think of to get fired on air."

Vain NewsreaderAnchorman

"That's the last time I watch Sarah Palin's 'Alaska'!"

"Everything is just hunky-dory."

"That does it! - I'm off!!!"

"Nation-building never works."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Spot the difference.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Politically Correct Snowperson

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Official Fight Cards

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"No, the employees don't fear you, sir. What gives you that impression?"

Fight for Your Democratic Right to Be Ignored

"The Nominees"

"Beg for peace!"

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!

Donald Trump Bulldozing Mexico, Canada, Panama, Bolivia, and Greenland

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

'The Federal Government today authorized a ten-year study of all its five-year studies.'

"So from now on, the rabbi, the priest and the minister all walk into a pharmacy, O.K.?"

Trump returns home

"Didn't we already travel down this road?"

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''