News Satirist Gifts

"We know nothing. We'll be back in five minutes with nothing more."

"A fake-news news story turned out to be true. We apologize for the mistake!"

'Superterrorism! Just how would such an act affect our lifestyles and celebrity style coverage.'

"So much for the news, now for the corrections."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'The Fed moved the interest rate to China today.'

The No-Spin Zone: Fox news( hurricane ).

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

"Naughty and nice is fake news ... there's blame on both sides."

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

"I've got half a mind to join the anti-vax movement!!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Nation-building never works."

"You're fired."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Flags

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

Torturing the English Language

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Trump pardons

UK border controls relaxed.

No-Work Orange

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Reagacentennial

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"You're on a what?!"

'You can just forget about the cake.'