Media Satire Enthusiast Gifts

Water-main break - "Very serious." - The Times

'It's 10 PM - do you know where your co - dependant is?'

"Actually, we will replace you."

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

The Mighty Wotizzit?! Part 1

Super Bowl Media Day 2013

'Bad enough they always ask what the worst case scenario is. Must they always look so damned happy asking it?'

Man sees 'chatline' advert on television.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Support the Ex-Troops

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Torturing the English Language

Pretty Flowers

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

reincarnated worm...

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

The height of fashion in 1796

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

"I thought there would be bacon here."