Media Satire Lover Gifts

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."

"Goodbye, Mr. Loeffler. And if you decide to write about this, both the 'Star' and the 'National Enquirer' are good possibilities."

Tonight on The Price is Right! Three people compete … to the death. Animal Planet brings you the gruesome mating dance of the preying … CNBC stock analysts, Jane Ponziskeem and Chuck Boughtman. You two both see, to agree the President's tax … Calamity was the most apocalyptic thing that ever happened in the history of the inner solar system. The devastating impact blew much of the earth's crust into orbit. After millions of years, it all coalesced to form ... Disney. The company now owns much of

"Breaking news!" "The Hubble Telescope has just detected a rogue planet the size of Venus, plummeting through the asteroid belt. Its gravity is pulling Ceres and several dozen mountain-sized asteroids along with it." "NASA believes their combined gravity will be enough to pull Mars and the Moon along with them as they scream past Earth and plummet into the sun." "There will only be one place on Earth that won't be utterly devastated by gravimetric forces." "Find out where that is later in this b

Lose the Iraq War.

Oh great, now not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...

'Who tipped you off about our expulsion?'

Journalist with a 'Press Pass' being put in a laundry press.

'In a surprise announcement, the CIA will be headed by a Klingon...wait a minute...who inserted this script from Star Trek?!'

"Suggestions that the Covid vaccine has unacceptable side-effects have been greatly exaggerated."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Bureaucracy gone mad!

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Modern Damocles -

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

ENNUI...(smiley face).

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"Actually, we will replace you."

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"