News Cycle Surfer Gifts

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

Moses on the web

Surfing the daily stress

Baby on board.

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Fear of news.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

"Dow's up!"

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

"Oh, say you can't see, any conflicts of interest in me! What's good for my brand, is now the law of the land! And the crooked media's nasty glare, my killer tweets bursting in air... Gave proof to the news cycle, that I'm so awesome it's almost unfair!..

'Another nice wave.'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'No surf?'

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

Sex Section in the Library

Oh Darling, you've got a bit of surfer stuck in you teeth.

La Jolla School of Advanced Music Graduate Frank Kettleknyper played a mello cello.

Card shark

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

Large Very Fresh Eggs

Snowman dreaming of surfing.

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"Good lord - not another Surfing Safari!"

Surfer and the Whale

Fashion Magazine: In/Out/Back In.

"If they're swimming they're seafood. If they're on surfboards they're not."

"Hey, catch me a wave."

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

Moving Van.