Newly Single Sibling Pillows

"I feel like I have all this anger inside but no one special to share it with."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

At the Museum

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Likes: $2.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Child driving a toy car

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"First snowman?"

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"It's an Eyesaur."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'