Newly Single Sibling T-Shirts

"I feel like I have all this anger inside but no one special to share it with."

At the Museum

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Likes: $2.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

Child driving a toy car

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

"It's an Eyesaur."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"First snowman?"

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"