Newborn Navigators Pillows

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

Midwife presents a baby with its own volume control: 'Finally, evolution has done its thing.'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

A Preschool of Fish

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

This is forever... till death do us part...

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

Daisy Diaper Service

Birthing Ball

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

Babies

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

Books 'n' Carrots

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"I assumed it was writer's block but as I've never written anything I could be wrong."

"I think this end is loaded."

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

'Sleeping like a baby'

The wedding.