Infant Navigators Pillows

Baby Do Something.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

A Preschool of Fish

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'How many fingers do you see?'

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

Books 'n' Carrots

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

Babies

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

Oops.

"I think this end is loaded."

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

"I assumed it was writer's block but as I've never written anything I could be wrong."

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

'Sleeping like a baby'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

Cr�che Seige

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."