New School Term Gifts

'I hate the first day of school.'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

'Apple? No! I thought you might need a bottle of Aspirin.'

School Days

'I thought we retired last May.'

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

The best PE teacher in the World.

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

Children's education

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"It's going to be one of those days."

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"There are days when I wish we'd never agreed to him changing his spots"

Did you let the global warming skeptics into eco club? Yeah. It went fine. We agreed to work on today's environmental problems. We don't have to wait 50 years to clean up toxic waste dumps! Amen.

Don't you hate...

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

Jimmy had a very active imagination.

"Welcome."

"Ah, bless. His first day at school."

This year I'm a different person. I'm starting school as the new, cooler me. Way to go, Twig! Diner. Everyone will notice the change. It feels kind of risky. I've never worn my hair down!

Back To School

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

Snacks for Learners

Only two months since school started. How long do you get off for summer break, Rudy? Oh, months and months. Just to kick back, sleep in late, have a great time with zero responsibility. Waaaa. Introduction to sarcasm. And I get tons of recess.