New School Year Gifts

"I don't have a problem with bullies. I tell them my mom's a lawyer and they leave me alone."

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

Height Chart.

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

Back to School

"There are days when I wish we'd never agreed to him changing his spots"

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

"It's okay. That's just adult-speak for hot dogs."

"We didn't learn anything today. We had to unlearn what the substitute taught us yesterday."

"I can't believe school starts next week."

Playing dustbins

Back To School

Back To School

As the summer drew to a close, Mrs. Bank's back-to-school nightmares progressed from a class of her worst students, to a class of their parents.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

'School's just begun and already my first Power Point is due Friday.'

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

'I want some shoes that squeak.'

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

Children are pulled in cart privided by the school contingency fuel fund.

"Why are you so excited about school starting?"

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Evil Exams!