Start Of A New School Year Gifts

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Did You Miss Me?

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

My First Camera

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Today we learned to count to one.

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Evil Exams!

The best PE teacher in the World.

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I'll go back to school if you go back to the office."

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'