New Pet Possessor Gifts

'How am I going to tell him he's no longer my best friend?'

Bitchbark Canoe

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Foster failure"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Cat box"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

'That was fun!'

Dog Dreams

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Cat Nip.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Foster failure

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

He won't sit, but he heels well.

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

A man and his dog

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

Happy.

Family with pets.

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.