New Parent Joy Seeker Gifts

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

A young Don King

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Cry babies.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'Ahhh...'

'I told you it would be useful.'

The Baby Walker

baby sweetcorn...

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

Interior design trends for parents....

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

A mother and baby elephant

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."