New Normal Lifestyle Gifts

Covid beach

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

i-teddy

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

Astronaut Selfie.

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'

"My joints... are almost done"

The Shy Nudist Camp.

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

"Woohoo, we have have overcome the wave!"

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

'I'm coping.'

Out of Order.

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

'Now that we've moved to this nudist colony, I suppose we should send everyone a change of undress notice!'

'Of course, but it's very expensive, with all that organic food, renewable energy and 5 star health care and horrendous surcharges on sin.'

The Tiny Houseboat Movement

Lockdown: Where every day is just like the last."

Hippy fighting off medicine.

"The time? Sorry - I don't have a phone."

'If only texting was an Olympic sport.'

'We'll see you again in three months time, then, sir.'

New Normal People

'Some people couldn't make it today, but they've sent a few tweets...'

'Your mother and I have decided it's time to tell you... we're hippies.'

"You've been fooling around with alternative medicines, haven't you?"

'Let's see...we've taken you off smoking, drinking and rich food. What else do you enjoy?'

"I was going to retire, but the thought of spending more time with my family changed my mind."

'...So one day I just decided to walk away from my mortgage and, well... one thing led to another...'

"Great news, guys! I finally got us that nudist colony account!!"